When Addison started kindergarten, I was excited and scared and all kinds of emotions, but knew she was ready. She was so grown up in her own five year old way, and even though I was worried about her going off into the big, bad world, I knew she would be fine.
Through the summer, there was no doubt that Samantha was ready to go to kindergarten. She knew her letters and numbers, her uniforms were hanging in the closet and her backpack was filled with school supplies. She even decided on her own that she would officially "Samantha" now, NOT Sam, or Sami, and followed through by learning to spell that long, long name.
The problem was, I wasn't ready. I was clinging to the baby still there, the little girl who still wants to cuddle and calls me her best friend. One day I overheard her telling Addi she could have her pillow for nap time in second grade, and Addi said, "We don't have naptime." When Sam (I'm sorry, SAMANTHA) responded, "OK Addi, you take it for your rest time," I couldn't breathe, let alone correct her and tell her that big girls don't have rest time either.
Three weeks ago I sucked up my fears and took this big girl to kindergarten. I kept waiting on her to need me, and to cry, and to show me the baby still there. But all I saw was this.
Someone forgot to tell Samantha that she's supposed to be a baby still.