Wednesday, July 24, 2013

The Oatmeal Story

I thought it was common knowledge that I don't cook.  I DO bake and enjoy it, but cooking meals is not my forte. Even grilled cheese shivers at the sight of me. Seriously, this was a grilled cheese I made (and forgot about). Oops.

However, after my friend Beth came over and was stunned (and I mean STUNNED) to see canned ravioli and cereal boxes on the counter while Jay was gone, I started to think maybe people assume I exaggerate when I mention my lack of a cooking gene.

Even my kids understand it - they know Daddy cooks, Mommy does dishes.  Addi was shocked and speechless to find out that my friend Jenny does all the cooking at their house, and Samantha told her teachers all about it in my Mother's Day present. In a cute survey that said, "My Mom loves to cook ___" Samantha told her teacher to fill in "Dad cooks everything."

So in case there was any confusion - I don't cook.  And not in a "OK I'll whip something up for dinner but it will taste just OK but I won't enjoy it very much" kind of way.  In a "Just tell them the oatmeal story and they'll understand" kind of way.

The Oatmeal Story

Pinterest is this website that makes moms feel inferior to everyone else in the world lets you search for recipes, crafts, home decor, really anything you could want to look at. And one night, while perusing Pinterest, I find what looked like a tasty morning treat - Slow Cooker Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal. The picture looked nearly irresistible, and with it being posted on a dieting board, I knew I could eat this guilt free. I showed the girls and they asked if we could make it, so we followed the directions exactly and waited for morning.  And Yes, I am well aware that oatmeal can be made in less than three minutes, but really, the picture sold it. This was going to be amazing.

I woke up to the smell of baked apples. Very, very tasty smelling from upstairs. But as I got closer to the kitchen, the smell changed. There was still a cinnamon smell, but instead of being a sweet one it was more of a burnt one. I lifted the lid to the crock pot and found what could easily be used as mortar or possibly could even patch the great Wall of China.  There was a solid 2-inch ring of burnt oatmeal around the circumference of the pan.  In the middle of the ring of burnt-ness was regular looking oatmeal, so in order to prove this oatmeal was still OK I let each girl tasted a bit of it.

Then I cleaned it up off the kitchen floor from where they spit it. It tasted just like it smelled.  Terrible.

Seven days later I FINALLY soaked the crock pot long enough to get most of the oatmeal out. At day five Jay suggested just buying a new one because we were fairly certain it was a lost cause, but I prevailed. And even though I stink at cooking, I do have one great talent - washing dishes.

I'm pretty sure Jay will let me keep that title forever.

In case you are curious, here's the recipe (with my added Step 4.) Enjoy!

Slow Cooker Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal 
 Cook overnight to wake up to delicious smells and a tasty breakfast!
 Cook time: 9 Hr  Prep time: 5 Min  Serves: 3-4
Ingredients: 2 apples, sliced; 1/3 c brown sugar; 1 tsp cinnamon; 2 c oatmeal; 4 c water
1. Place sliced apples, 1/3 cup brown sugar and 1 tsp cinnamon in the bottom of the crock pot.
2. Pour 2 cups of oatmeal and 4 cups of water on top. Do not stir.
3. Cook overnight for 8 - 9 hours on low. Serve and enjoy.
4. Buy a New Crock Pot and never speak of this again.

1 comment:

Patricia said...

Oh how I love you and your witty stories!!! :) Even if you can't cook!

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