Being a mom is far and away a million times better than I ever imagined. From sitting in church and holding their hands, to singing songs in the car with them, and to laying in bed with them, watching them drift off to sleep, every second with them means something. Sometimes the "something" is that I want to run screaming from the house, but I never actually do because I can't imagine life without those two.
Luckily, I had a great role model in my mom. In addition to the unconditional support and endless love, my mom taught me some tricks of the trade, things that can and will come in handy when the kids are being less than angelic. So here, to celebrate Mother's Day, are a few tips for parenting, taught to me by my mom.
1. Tired of answering your kids every time they ask "Why?" Teach them a catch phrase and get them to say it back whenever you are mean and say NO to them, yet again. At a loss for a phrase? Use the one my mom did. "Because I'm basically mean and evil." Works every time.
2. Dirty carpet? If you are lucky enough to have a child who uses a different dominant hand than you do, do what my mom did to me for years. Lie your pants off and tell said child that you can't vacuum, no sirree. How could you when the vacuum is very obviously made for a left handed person and you are right handed? If you are double lucky your kid will buy that ridiculous lie until she's 10 (just like I did.)
3. Children embarrassing you in public? When they start running through the store, screaming and crying, and run into a display of food causing an avalanche of peas, don't yell or scream idle threats. Stop, turn calmly to the children, and say, "You two are terrible. Just wait until I get you home and tell your mother how you've been acting." Problem (and face) saved.
Happy Mother's Day to my mom, one of the best role models a mom could ask for!