Addi-Isms

Why I am giving serious consideration to buying a muzzle…

Addi:  Mom, your cheeks are a lot bigger than mine.
Me:    Yeah, I’m a grown up. My face is a lot bigger than yours.
Addi:  I was talking about your butt. It’s HUGE!

Addi:  I tried to listen, but I got distracted.

Me:  OK just please try to listen.  Mommy needs you to.
Addi:  I shook my head and a bunch of bugs came out. I can listen to you now!

Addi:  [uncontrollable sobbing]
Me:    Addi, please lay down and go to bed. I am not tucking you in again.
Addi:  [more sobbing, with a side of dry heaving]
Me:    Fine. I’m coming up. [walk, walk, walk] What is wrong? Why are you so upset?
Addi:  [sniff, sniff] I am soooooooooooooooooo sad! You hurt my fee-ee-eelings.[gag, gag]
Me:    Addi, please calm down and tell me what’s wrong.
Addi:  [sniff] I too-too-tooted and you didn’t laugh.

Addi:  I have GREAT news!
Me:    Wow! What!
Addi:  I see a tree!

Addi:  I have GREAT news!
Me:    Again? What?
Addi:  I have a huge booger!

Addi:  I have GREAT GREAT news! Really, Mommy!
Me:    What?
Addi:  I didn’t eat my booger. I wiped it on the wall.

Addi:  I have bad news.
Me:    Oh really? What happened?
Addi:  I miss you.