Addi: Mom, your cheeks are a lot bigger than mine.
Me: Yeah, I’m a grown up. My face is a lot bigger than yours.
Addi: I was talking about your butt. It’s HUGE!
Addi: I tried to listen, but I got distracted.
Me: OK just please try to listen. Mommy needs you to.
Addi: I shook my head and a bunch of bugs came out. I can listen to you now!
Addi: [uncontrollable sobbing]
Me: Addi, please lay down and go to bed. I am not tucking you in again.
Addi: [more sobbing, with a side of dry heaving]
Me: Fine. I’m coming up. [walk, walk, walk] What is wrong? Why are you so upset?
Addi: [sniff, sniff] I am soooooooooooooooooo sad! You hurt my fee-ee-eelings.[gag, gag]
Me: Addi, please calm down and tell me what’s wrong.
Addi: [sniff] I too-too-tooted and you didn’t laugh.
Addi: I have GREAT news!
Me: Wow! What!
Addi: I see a tree!
Addi: I have GREAT news!
Me: Again? What?
Addi: I have a huge booger!
Addi: I have GREAT GREAT news! Really, Mommy!
Me: What?
Addi: I didn’t eat my booger. I wiped it on the wall.
Addi: I have bad news.
Me: Oh really? What happened?
Addi: I miss you.

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