Some Additional Information

Ever since I posted THIS mentioning Addison’s “Death Breath”, I’ve had several people ask me what exactly death breath is. So, since I’m such a giving person I thought I’d give you some additional information so you can adequately diagnose death breath in your own family.

First: The Cause

• Your kid needs their tonsils removed. While the breath associated with strep is quite smelly, it doesn’t hold a handle to death breath. And, please do NOT actually hold a candle to it… that $h!t might be flammable.
• Your kid must not brush their teeth for several days. That’s easy to accomplish with a tonsillectomy – everything hurts.
• Your kid needs to breath directly in your face for at least 10 seconds. But be forewarned: nausea and vomiting may occur.

The Description

I have thought long and hard about how to verbally express what death breath is. This is the closest I can get to the actual odor. And again, you are welcome for the information.

• First, you need some sort of wild animal. Let’s go with a possum.
• Then, run it over with your car.
• In July.
• In the desert.
• Then, wait four days.

(doo, dooo, do…)

• Ok, now you need a skunk.
• Have the skunk spray your dead possum.
• Then have the skunk lay down next to the possum and die.

There you have it. Death Breath!