First: The Cause
- Your kid needs their tonsils removed. While the breath associated with strep is quite smelly, it doesn’t hold a handle to death breath. And, please do NOT actually hold a candle to it… that $h!t might be flammable.
- Your kid must not brush their teeth for several days. That’s easy to accomplish with a tonsillectomy – everything hurts.
- Your kid needs to breath directly in your face for at least 10 seconds. But be forewarned: nausea and vomiting may occur.
I have thought long and hard about how to verbally express what death breath is. This is the closest I can get to the actual odor. And again, you are welcome for the information.
- First, you need some sort of wild animal. Let’s go with a possum.
- Then, run it over with your car.
- In July.
- In the desert.
- Then, wait four days.
- Ok, now you need a skunk.
- Have the skunk spray your dead possum.
- Then have the skunk lay down next to the possum and die.