The title-less blog

I am not one for formalities. I’ve even been described as being loose with words. But try as I might, I couldn’t come up with a title for this blog. Not the title that I wanted, I mean. Because what I want to title it is “Who gave my kids crack before bed?”

Let me elaborate. My kids are not the best sleepers. They go in spurts – one night, we will have 10 glorious hours of uninterrupted sleep. The next night, I want to run screaming down the street. For those of you who are missing out on all the fun we have, let me give you a brief rundown of a typical night for us. Try not to be jealous.

7:30 p.m. – Sam has a bottle and drifts off to sleep. We take her to her room and shut the door.
8 p.m. – we finish reading 3 (or 4 or 5) books with Addi and take her to her room, shutting the door. Addi goes to sleep without a peep, and Jay and I go to bed around 10 p.m.
1 a.m. – Addi wakes up and comes to our room. And requests help finding her missing paci.
1:05 a.m. – Addi begins yelling for an “animal” to sleep with.
1:06 a.m. – I clamp my hand over her mouth and tell her to stop screaming, kicking Jay and telling him to retrieve said animal.
1:07 a.m. - Addi bites my hand and I cry silently into my pillow.
1:08 a.m. – Addi happily settles down to sleep in our room.
1:09 a.m. – Sam is now awake from Addi's screaming and is inconsolable. She joins us in our room.
1:10 a.m. – Addi freaks out because she either a) wants to hold Sam’s hand and Sam won’t let her or b) wants to sleep next to me and Sam won’t let her.
1:30 – 3 a.m. – Every 5 minutes, Addi or Sam stir, waking the other. I am in major pain by now from being contorted into an unnatural position, trying to not squash children.
5:30 a.m. – Jay and I wake up, exhausted. The kids are happily dreaming away.

Now, I SAID don't be jealous.