APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME_______________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________ HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA Grid_____________ INCOME TAX FILE NUMBER ______________ DRIVERS LICENSE ________________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES_____________
HOME ADDRESS_____________ CITY/STATE___________ POSTODE______ Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Number of years they have been married _____________If less than your age, Explain___________________

ACCESSORIES SECTION:
A.Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No
B.A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No
C.A waterbed? __Yes __No
D.A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __NO
E.A tattoo? __Yes __No
F.Do you have an earring, nose ring, pierced tongue, OR pierced cheek? __Yes __No
(IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATIONAND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)

ESSAY SECTION: In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you? _______________________________
In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you?_______________________________
In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?_______________________________

REFERENCES SECTION: Church you attend ___________________
How often you attend ________________
When would be the best time to interview your:
Father? _____________Mother?_____________Priest or Pastor? _____________

SHORT-ANSWER SECTION: Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.
A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be: ___________________
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:__________________
C: A woman's place is in the \
D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:____________________ E.What do you want to be IF you grow up? ______________________
F: When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:________________________
G: What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TOTHE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,INDIGENOUS AUSTRALIAN BULL ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE and RED HOT POKERS_____________________________

Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)__________________________ Mother's Signature ______________________________
Father's Signature _______________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State or Federal Government Representative_______________________

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.(You might watch your back)